Answers to "Ask Mike" Questions
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40. Can God forgive me if I told him that I rejected him? I was saved and baptized in 1967. In 1983 I discovered my husband had been having a year-long affair and I blamed God for not keeping our marriage intact. In my despair, I told God I rejected him and wanted to follow Satan instead. For over a year I stayed angry at God, and I did some things I regret, but I never did really follow Satan. I repented and think that God has forgiven me. However, I have been unsure of my salvation for 19 years now. I have heard that the Bible says that the only unforgivable sin is the rejection of the Holy Spirit. Since I once told God "I reject you," can I ever be positive I am reconciled to him?
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Our great God is big enough and strong enough to understand hurt and anger. We often say and do things in anger that are not representative of who we really are or what we truly feel. In your anger you lashed out at the only One you felt would listen or care. Your own words, however, reveal that you did not reject God totally and completely. You said, "I never really followed Satan. I repented and think God has forgiven [me]." Take heart, you can know God has forgiven you. Read 1 John 1:9. The fact you asked the question at all demonstrates the genuine nature of your repentance. Now you must believe God when he says, "I will forgive their sins." As long as you remain in Christ, you have the assurance of your salvation. It does not depend on how you feel or what you say in a spate of anger. Until you absolutely reject Christ and never return, you have not committed the unpardonable sin. As before, your hope rests on "Jesus' blood and righteousness," it does not rest on your own ability to avoid anger. I hope this helps.